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1. Day 27: Extending Love All the way Home
What are the conditions I have been placing around myself with this Twelvemonth.me extending love to fears project? I’ve decided these conditions like “I can’t explain myself to the designer!” or “It’s too hard!!!” are like Lego bricks I’ve strewn across the floor. As I step on one barefoot and wince in pain and say “OUCH!! That really hurt!!” I am reminded to open my eyes and see truly where I am. Can I walk around the Lego? Can I pick up the bricks? If I proceed slowly will the Lego bricks act as a bridge of sorts over something else...
read more1. Day 26: The Unfolding of Joy
I am feeling slow-ish and tired (headache too) from last days of frenetic activity. I have so much to do before tomorrow……… “I Am Here Now” Quiet Blanket Tea Candle Clock-tick Heartbeat Breath Comfort Uninterrupted Peace I noticed in the whirl of yesterday that fear of commitment without the fear is just commitment. Me: Why have I feared commitment in work (especially) for so long? HS: Because your fear kept you from remembering your heart, your Self. As soon as this happens all is fraught with struggle and backwards thinking. You have...
read more1. Day 25: Love Is Vast Enough
I am feeling a little (actually A LOT) cornered by time. My week is full. Help! This thought, a benediction from my heart revives me: Love is vast enough to hold all my time, appointments, plans and schedule. This bears repeating. Every five minutes if needed: LOVE IS VAST ENOUGH (Love Is –inhale….Vast Enough–exhale x repeat as needed) Me: What do I need right now? I feel ever so slightly fidgety and rushed. This is the part of commitment I question; it takes up a lot of space and energy. Here I am, in my quiet...
read more1. Day 24: Rocking the Vastness
Today I am feeling the waffling of downsizing my commitment of a daily post: It is not needed. It will inundate my brother. I’m painting myself into a corner. Is this really fun? Why? HS: Why not? Me: Why not???? Exactly!! Why the heck NOT?! It won’t hurt, I write everyday anyway. An ambitious goal gets my juices flowing. I want to blow myself away in amazement. I want a searchable record. It IS fun! Oh Yeah! Now I remember!! Thanks! Just when I needed some encouragement for this epic commitment of a daily blog posting project this...
read more1. Day 23: Itching Relieves Tension
Today commitment is like the annoying itch I have at the moment. To be honest, I want more to know about the itching that I want to know about commitment. Me: What is this itching about? It comes replete with both full-on annoyance and delicious satisfaction. It keeps coming back, is this some form of self-medication? Please help me see here, thank you. HS: Your body continues to call out for care: movement, moisture, nourishment, stretch, openness and strength. Me: Honestly, I get tired of my body’s needs. How can I see this...
read more1. Day 22: Fame Is a Flashlight
Weirdly I have discovered underneath my fear of commitment lies what I call a feeder-fear; this is a fear of fame. I know it sounds ridiculous because what are the odds of “fame” occurring because of what I write on a blog? Especially since I have yet to put any hustle into sharing the blog (I am leaving that totally up to my Holy Spirit btw). Fame is one way of putting being known for who and what you are or stand for. I guess I need to hear about fame because that is exactly what I asked. Me: These days people taste fame, at least for...
read more1. Day 21: Commitment, a Difference of Opinion
I spoke yesterday of the onslaught of experiences being sustained by my nearest and dearest. This gives me a perfect opportunity to extend love to my fear of commitment. Here is where commitment, in my opinion, goes awry. I am fully committed to my beloved partner of 30 plus years. I also am beginning to be fully committed to my own heart. So what happens when we see things differently and want to approach how to help someone in distress in totally different ways? Here is the very helpful answer from Holy Spirit, one that I will return...
read more1. Day 20: An Onslaught
Over the past three days various loved ones in my circle are facing: Good news, bad news, a diagnosis, an accusation, huge financial shortfall, a happy arrival, leaving a favored job. I feel all of these things as if they were happening to me directly. I am not sure if this is an awareness of oneness or just how life works. In this light, my plan to extend love to commitment seams silly or beside the point. What does commitment matter in the face of this onslaught of life? Today extending love to commitment feels more like a commitment to...
read more1. Day 19: A Block to Love’s (& Commitment’s) Presence
In meditation I had this thought: The layered difficult circumstances that I thought were “why” I couldn’t express my Self (not the right time; someone will be upset/hurt; this is heresy; it’s not my place) I saw as a bulwark dam I had built to keep from expressing truth. Why did I do this to myself? HS: Dearest One, This is an experience you give yourself over and over again just to see how long you can stand it—like holding your breath under water as a child. Fear not the meaning. The world is made of this; experiments of experience...
read more1. Day 18: Prayer & Intention
HS, please help me be aware and delight in all the help, support, information I might need in my twelvemonth.me project. Let this be fun, juicy and uplifting. I love the help from unexpected sources that comes to me. I am learning this technology of a new blog with ease and I am loving it. I actually enjoy the process of posting, maintaining and sharing my experience. Please guide me in this that I may always ask first so I share a full experience of you, of US. Thank you, amen. OH! I just realized my friend’s change of heart re helping...
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