Fear of Commitment

1. Day 24: Rocking the Vastness

Posted by on Apr 24, 2014 in All-One, Encouragement, Fear of Commitment | 2 comments

1. Day 24:  Rocking the Vastness

Today I am feeling the waffling of downsizing my commitment of a daily post: It is not needed. It will inundate my brother. I’m painting myself into a corner. Is this really fun? Why? HS:  Why not? Me:  Why not????  Exactly!! Why the heck NOT?! It won’t hurt, I write everyday anyway. An ambitious goal gets my juices flowing. I want to blow myself away in amazement. I want a searchable record. It IS fun! Oh Yeah!  Now I remember!!  Thanks! Just when I needed some encouragement for this epic commitment of a daily blog posting project this perfect quote appeared before my very eyes: “Your love...

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1. Day 23: Itching Relieves Tension

Posted by on Apr 23, 2014 in All-One, Extending love to my thoughts, Fear of Commitment | 2 comments

1. Day 23:  Itching Relieves Tension

Today commitment is like the annoying itch I have at the moment.  To be honest, I want more to know about the itching that I want to know about commitment. Me:  What is this itching about?  It comes replete with both full-on annoyance and delicious satisfaction.  It keeps coming back, is this some form of self-medication?  Please help me see here, thank you. HS:  Your body continues to call out for care:  movement, moisture, nourishment, stretch, openness and strength. Me:  Honestly, I get tired of my body’s needs.  How can I see this differently? Whoa!  This thought just snuck into my...

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1. Day 22: Fame Is a Flashlight

Posted by on Apr 22, 2014 in All-One, Extending love to my thoughts, Fear of Commitment, Holy Dictionary, Holy Spirit Says | 2 comments

1. Day 22:  Fame Is a Flashlight

Weirdly I have discovered underneath my fear of commitment lies what I call a feeder-fear; this is a fear of fame.  I know it sounds ridiculous because what are the odds of “fame” occurring because of what I write on a blog?  Especially since I have yet to put any hustle into sharing the blog (I am leaving that totally up to my Holy Spirit btw).  Fame is one way of putting being known for who and what you are or stand for.  I guess I need to hear about fame because that is exactly what I asked. Me:  These days people taste fame, at least for a moment, fairly easily and quickly with YouTube,...

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1. Day 16: A Second Helping of Disappointment

Posted by on Apr 16, 2014 in All-One, Fear of Commitment | 0 comments

1. Day 16:  A Second Helping of Disappointment

This morning I am very aware of the whispering thoughts in my head that are stewing in back-burner disappointment.  My friend, my buddy, my partner in all things spiritual wanted to help edit, proof and possibly post my blog.  I was so relieved as this type of technical input baffles and bewilders me.  In following her own guidance she changed her mind several days later and begged off leaving me startled and unsure of myself. Here is the message from HS:  HS:  Trust her on her path even as you trust yourself on your own path. There is room for all paths.  Light shows the way.  The way is...

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1. Day 15: Creation is a By-product of the Awareness of Love

Posted by on Apr 15, 2014 in All-One, Fear of Commitment, Holy Spirit Says | 1 comment

1. Day 15:  Creation is a By-product of the Awareness of Love

What DO I really want?  I want commitment to matter, to show, to have a purpose.  I want it to lead to revelation or greater awareness to Love’s presence and a greater awareness of my own strength, holiness and delight. If I’m honest, I feel commitment will also lead to a created form, a body of work or experience that is useful, precious and lovingly beneficial to all. I need to extend love to not knowing if commitment serves a grander purpose or is going to be truly useful and beneficial:       I extend transparency to this thought. HS:  Precious One, As with all things, Love’s motive and...

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1. Day 14: Disappointment Veils the Truth

Posted by on Apr 14, 2014 in All-One, Fear of Commitment, Holy Spirit Says | 4 comments

1. Day 14:  Disappointment Veils the Truth

I have been waiting for this one.  Today I got to experience disappointment.  It is real in this moment.  I was to have some technical and moral support in this Twelvemonth.me project from a trusted source who, in following her own guidance, lovingly backed out.  So now I get to extend love to someone else’s lack of commitment.  The irony is rich.  Of course there really IS no one else.  It is my own fear of keeping a commitment playing out for me.  Even though I am dimly aware the disappointment lies within me, it is easier, safer for me to project it out in a weak form of blame,  “Well,...

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