8. Day 4: Not-Knowing IS….
I feel bubbly, jittery, nervous and swirly. The rapid staccato strobe light effect is like having my heart on speed boil. I need to express it all and just allow the flow so balance and peace may return to my awareness. I can barely calm down with all that is going on (of the happiest variety, flying to LA for a conference, prepping for our departure soon to UK, a wedding etc). Help and guide me into peace now. My walk helped tremendously. It allowed the nervous energy to move through me and left me open to hear the Holy Spirit. These thoughts came to me during the walk. HS:...
Read More7. Day 9: Feelworthy
In light of some recent intense events I found myself needing a word that I couldn’t find. A word that could describe what was happening and what I was feeling about what was happening. The word that arrived fully formed was: FEELWORTHY (adj)–something (an event, person, experience) worthy of all the feelings I am having; having a right to have all the feelings present; all that I am feeling NOW ex: “This departure is feelworthy.” In a matter of days just over a week ago several BIG things happens all close together. My nephew and his wife had a dear baby girl...
Read More7. Day 6: 100 Ways To Know Honesty
I am loving all that honesty has to give. Since I have noticed I am fearful of honesty in many ways I wanted to know how I can be with/ practice/ encourage honesty in myself. So I asked Holy Spirit for ways I can come to know honesty as a quality of love. After this list, I really do want to know honesty. In all things. This honesty, I can trust, allow and welcome. 100 Ways To Know Honesty As A Quality Of Love Listen Don’t interrupt Trust the moment Notice my heart beat Extend trust to being honest Practice to taking time to answer Remember I always have everything I need...
Read More6. Day 17: Holy Sh**, Am I Value-able?!!!
It is late (or early depending on how you look at it) and I cannot sleep. This thought keeps churning in my head like a dog that can’t find a comfortable spot on the blanket: “I am afraid of not working.” After getting up and finally looking at this thought (I extend noticing to this thought) the truer thought was revealed: “I am afraid of not creating value.” I want to always create value; in time, experience, object, design, moment and reason. I judge harshly something I see as lacking in value–either something I do/don’t do or something...
Read More5. Day 8: Go Difficult. Go Deep.
I am so happy to be here this morning for a “normal” quiet time, in the morning dark, tea and willingness at hand. I feel I have been stretched over the past months to include more of me–more time, more ways to feel connected, more ways to practice willingness (in letting go, EVERY DAY and extending love to fear of guilt, depression and commitment). Thank you for this. I have performed my first wedding ceremony, seen my first child graduate from university and celebrated the return from near death of my cousin’s child (now delightfully engaged as well). We broke...
Read More4. Day 18: The Opposite Of Letting Go
I have noticed how hard it is for our family to leave the house. It is a never ending, staggering, ridiculous parade of almost getting into the car but not quite that can take upwards of 20 minutes (more if we are going farther than the state border). It is like escaping the pull of gravity and feels like the very opposite of let go. It is almost comical but frequently annoying. What gives? How can I feel peace about this? HS: Now is not fleeting. It is All. Now is vast holiness, ever present and mindful, complete acceptance and welcome. Now is no-time. Wordless joy of being....
Read More