12. Day 6: I Am The Poem
Feelings have a way of leaving me mute; I think this is one of the reasons I have feared them. Since talking is my perceived way of connecting, feelings (and the ensuing muted state) can leave me feeling somewhat disconnected to myself. The beckoning quiet of silence is my only friend. Poetry is one way I can express myself back into an awareness of connection with myself. I do not write in order to make a poem, I write in order to be the poem. Silence Speaks My thoughts have all escaped I am left holding a bag of words clock tick candle flicker tea steam aeroplane whine traffic drone...
Read More12. Day 5: The Earmark Of Divinity
I strongly feel my part in the whole–or is it I feel the depth of the wholeness in my own heart? I have twin feelings of apprehension and glory, worry and contemplation, busy and stillness. How to allow, welcome and cherish my twin nature; divine as human, human as divine? Are they different or just different views of the same thing? Is this what I am learning to experience in feeling? Holy Spirit, please speak to me on how all this relates to Feeling and feelings? Thank you my ever-present, wholly trusted Friend and beloved Guide. Thank you. HS: Precious One, You are learning to...
Read More12. Day 4: A Sensitive Issue
Extending love to feeling and feelings is a departure for me. Sure, I can extend love to thoughts all day long. Even though thoughts in this case are everything I am aware of. See, that’s the thing. I am not really aware of my feelings. I am aware of sadness, happiness, despair and crossness but feeling those things is different. I have trained myself (not very well actually) to ignore my own feelings because I have also trained myself to be acutely aware of other people’s feelings. When my daughter was ill several years ago she would put her head against mine and say...
Read More12. Day 3: Feeling; The Divine Mother Lode
Holy Friend, Thank you for this time, this morning. Help me hear and abide in that place of quiet where words are not needed for feeling communicates as completely (if not more so). I am able to go within and know your Voice, hear guidance, truth and get clarity. But perhaps there is a deeper place of the abundance that Love is that can only be accessed and inhabited with the thing we call feeling. Help me develop this muscle or become at one with this depth. I don’t even really know what to ask for. I will trust that you will show me the way. You know my life, household, dreams...
Read More12. Day 2: Do Feelings Lie?
Here are some hard truths I am learning about what I think about feelings. (I notice I am still thinking about them rather than feeling them but I have to start somewhere.) I was a little surprised as I thought I would describe myself as emotional; I cry when certain ads come on, I respond with laughter or tears as is called for, I have been told (by my Mother when I was little) that I wear my feelings on my sleeve. So to look again and see I have a rather low opinion of feelings is a bit startling. The thoughts in no particular order: 1. There is not enough time to feel feelings 2....
Read More12. Day 1: Feelings: Black Hole Or Morning Star?
“I don’t know what to think about my feelings.” I said “Maybe that’s the problem. Thinking about them instead of feeling them.” she said. I was caught out the other day when I was experiencing nausea, headache and weepiness and discovered it was but a call for attendance and expression by some unacknowledged feelings. It made me wonder what else might be lurking inside, desperate for acknowledgement, welcome and expression. I have centered my practice on the premise that Love IS enough. Love is who I am and loving is what I do. In extending love to...
Read More