Rx: Stillness
There are times when the only thing you can do is be utterly still. Not so much as you are all calm and meditative but as in there is literally nowhere else to turn, nothing else to do or think, i.e. fear has you at a complete standstill. When the unexpected happens (and it will) and someone in your circle attempts suicide, or receives a diagnosis, or you get your tax bill and think perhaps the government is planning to pay off its debt with only your contribution. When the baby’s birthdate is no more due to miscarriage or the chronic illness reaches a new low, baffling even the most...
Read MoreLove: Fool’s Errand or Lion Tamer?
Two years ago today I began my adventure of a Twelvemonth of Self Love by extending love to my epic fears (one fear a month for twelve months) and blogging daily about my experience. I purposely began blogging on April Fool’s Day as I wasn’t yet totally sure that I wasn’t sending myself on a fool’s errand to see if Love really was enough to meet fear head on. It feels dramatic to say it changed my life but what it did was totally change my own experience of my life. By this I mean, life unfolded; events (both once-in-a-lifetime and daily) happened, I met new...
Read MoreThe Golden Elixir of Now
I often wonder how to integrate into my living the vastness of eternity and God-is-Love with the concept of NOW, this minute here right in front of me. More importantly, how do I feel the vastness without immediately slipping into feeling overwhelmed? My Holy Friend is who I turn to in all things, especially the ones that make you want to shout “WTF???!!!” at the top of your lungs. Me: So how do I claim the vastness without experiencing overwhelm? How do I feel All-That-Is without screaming “TOO MUCH!!!”? HS: Precious One, You but need to see the vastness in the...
Read MoreHow Can Joy & Grief Live Side By Side?
As I began to take in the miracle of integration happening during the intensity of last year I sought daily guidance for living what felt completely and utterly impossible; daily wedding joys and deadlines coexisting with moment by moment prayer requests and updates from the bedside of my cousin’s son in (what we would learn were to be) his final days. This was intense joy intertwined with deep grief. I could only go within (about every five minutes) and ask for comfort, guidance, relief and peace in the intense NOW that was unfolding. Just days before the wedding, in one 24 hour...
Read MoreA Course of Love
Late last year, smack dab in the middle of the wedding hubbub I came across a breathtaking spiritual text I couldn’t get enough of. It was as if I had found a new translation of the Bible, I had never dared believe existed. This text, these words, this book straight from the heart of Jesus into my own (bedraggled, exhausted, hurried) heart was indeed the salvation I had asked for. Because I was so desperate for any and all help to stretch time, bring eternity into our midst and because I was grateful to sit (even if only for a moment) and just listen, I was smitten from the first...
Read MoreThe Clarity Clause
“I just don’t know what to do….” she said softly. I could picture the fat tears slowly making their way down her cheek. “Grrrr, no news yet. Waiting is SO HARD.” “WTF?!! What are we going to do NOW?” I know several friends going through that path oft travelled where you catch yourself saying “I don’t know” a hundred times an hour. That time of fog and stand-stillness when you do not know which way to turn. It is as hard to watch another feel the betwixt and between as it is to feel it yourself. Thankfully, my Holy Friend...
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