1. Day 6: Judgment Meets It’s Maker
I frequently begin a post with my thoughts, as that is how I live. As I am aware of my thoughts and how I relate to them so goes my day. How I relate to my thoughts produces my experience. So I extend space to my thoughts. I am afraid I will lose myself and not feel joy in the face of commitment. I love a fluid space in which to work, I instantly give myself rules and quotas and am hard and judgmental when I commit to a task, whether it is going to the gym, eating well or taking care of business. It is the powerful judgment that seems to arise in me I don’t like to feel, it makes me feel...
Read More1. Day 5: Me, Myself, & I
I am beginning to notice a pattern. Me in fear. Me in my right mind. Then deeper still Me in my Holiness (I still call this Holy Spirit because when I begin it still feels a l….o…..n…….g way away from who and where I am). 4am Me in fear: I feel nervous, excited and stupid (Why am I doing this to myself?) I fear the focus on fear. (What you focus on multiplies.) I am afraid of getting obsessive (Who me?). This must be why alcoholics avoid drink. Am I this way about work/a specific project? Do I obsess and abandon all Self in the ensuing crush of insanity? Is there something else...
Read More1. Day 4: BE JUICY EXPRESS LOVE
More thoughts re my fear of commitment: I’m afraid if I commit to a project and am successful, I might outshine another who needs success more than I. I’m afraid I haven’t thought of everything. I’m still counting on SOMEONE ELSE to give me the go ahead, the approval, the big thumbs up. Can I really, truly trust my OWN inner guidance on this blog? I don’t’ know where to write what, help, help, HELP, HELP!!!!!!!!!!! I need large chunks of time without appointment or plan. I love to soak in the holiness of my own heart. When I play the whirligig game of fast living the world insists on, I give...
Read More1. Day 3: Extending Love to My Thoughts
Before I begin in earnest I want to share briefly what my practice of extending love to my thoughts looks like. I learned how to extend love to my thoughts when I became an ordained Voice for Love minister. Essentially this is a practice of stillness and noticing my thoughts without judgment then simply extending a color or facet of love to the thoughts that I notice. The big AHA for me was thinking about Love in terms of qualities, colors or facets (kindness, acceptance, stillness; pouring out light as if it were honey; welcoming my thoughts with a hug or a deep bow). I knew that I...
Read More1. Day 2: A Daily Commitment of Self Love
So we begin with commitment. Ugh, yuck & yippee. This is where the rubber meets the road (hopefully without the added mess of road kill.) My husband who truly wrote the book on commitment started the day with exhaustion in his voice. I asked him what he needed that he wasn’t getting? His answer: relief, time, quiet & completion. This is, in a nutshell, why I fear commitment to a task. I have seen it lead to this: tasks done = peace, relief, joy tasks not done = tension, hurry, anger. As Holy Spirit guided I will begin extending love to commitment. For the next 30 days. Then...
Read More