2. Day 15: “Take Two Days at the Hyatt & Call Me In The Mourning”
I must admit, extending love to depression and my fear of looking at it is challenging me in my depths. It is as if I am inhabiting depression or it is inhabiting me to allow me to write and love from that authentic place within that is truth. It is no accident (darn it!) that today I got to look at and extend love to this fear (in the “21 Fear Salute”) in depression: 6. Fear of Truth What am I afraid of here? That I will discover that I have suffered from, ignored, covered over, been annoyed at and left as lost luggage this miasma of depression? I don’t feel...
Read More2. Day 14: The Flavors of Love
Just in case anyone is feeling tired of looking fear in the eyes I will let you know I am feeling a bit the same way. I mean, why can’t we just focus on love? I am realizing that is exactly what is happening with my willingness to look at fear. Fear IS just a call for love and looking at it is answering in love. So let’s dive into another fear from the “21 Fear Salute”, shall we? 5. The Fear of Vastness Me: Holy Spirit, “the fear of vastness” seems like the same fear as “fear of the bigger picture”, is it? How can I extend love to...
Read More2. Day 13: “Interview With A Fear”
Looking at the “21 Fear Salute” is giving me pause. I am forced to really stop and look closely at the interrelated fears that make up this cloaking of my joy and nature of love we know as depression. I keep thinking that something else will come to me about depression but it seems that witnessing and welcoming 21 fears is enough for now. Perhaps once my fears are all present and accounted for, they will feel safe enough to not feel fearful any more. So let’s tackle the fear of the bigger picture. 4. Fear of the Bigger Picture HS: Why is the bigger picture frightening?...
Read More2. Day 12: The Seat of Suffering
I have noticed that a characteristic of depression, and most suffering actually, is a deep unwillingness. Me: HS, please tell me about this. Why is unwillingness a part of suffering? How can we deal with a powerful deadening sense of unwillingness? HS: Dearest One, Unwillingness is at the seat of suffering. Unwilling to be here now. Unwilling to face this moment. Unwilling to feel pain. Unwilling to open eyes. Unwilling to know Love’s presence. Unwilling to hope. Unwilling to care. Unwilling to experience peace. Unwilling to experience joy. Unwilling to know the truth. Unwilling to...
Read More2. Day 11: The Ensuing Quiet
How do I extend love to depression if it is someone else experiencing depression? I fear it and hate it is because of what I see it do to people: it is isolating, it is debilitating, numbing, withdrawing, saddening, dampening and de-energizing. It seems to cut people off, not only from who they are but cuts them off from relating to themselves as well as others. I think what frustrates me is the seeming lack of caring for self or others. No curiosity and no interest appear to be present. I guess I must think it could be cured/healed with a change of mind. Would I /do I feel the same...
Read More2. Day 10: I Am Enough
I will continue with the “21 Fear Salute” which acknowledges the cluster of thoughts and fears depression includes and ask Holy Spirit about each one. Me: HS, please help me understand why closed questions are a part of the thoughts of depression? HS: Closed questions keep all focus within easy reach. They keep you from noticing your thoughts, feelings, and your true voice. Me: What is a closed question, an example? 2. Closed questions HS: “Why is this happening?” “What did I do to deserve this?” “Why is everything so hard?” “Why is it never easy?” “What’s the point?” A closed...
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