2. Day 12: The Seat of Suffering
I have noticed that a characteristic of depression, and most suffering actually, is a deep unwillingness. Me: HS, please tell me about this. Why is unwillingness a part of suffering? How can we deal with a powerful deadening sense of unwillingness? HS: Dearest One, Unwillingness is at the seat of suffering. Unwilling to be here now. Unwilling to face this moment. Unwilling to feel pain. Unwilling to open eyes. Unwilling to know Love’s presence. Unwilling to hope. Unwilling to care. Unwilling to experience peace. Unwilling to experience joy. Unwilling to know the truth. Unwilling to...
Read More2. Day 11: The Ensuing Quiet
How do I extend love to depression if it is someone else experiencing depression? I fear it and hate it is because of what I see it do to people: it is isolating, it is debilitating, numbing, withdrawing, saddening, dampening and de-energizing. It seems to cut people off, not only from who they are but cuts them off from relating to themselves as well as others. I think what frustrates me is the seeming lack of caring for self or others. No curiosity and no interest appear to be present. I guess I must think it could be cured/healed with a change of mind. Would I /do I feel the same...
Read More2. Day 10: I Am Enough
I will continue with the “21 Fear Salute” which acknowledges the cluster of thoughts and fears depression includes and ask Holy Spirit about each one. Me: HS, please help me understand why closed questions are a part of the thoughts of depression? HS: Closed questions keep all focus within easy reach. They keep you from noticing your thoughts, feelings, and your true voice. Me: What is a closed question, an example? 2. Closed questions HS: “Why is this happening?” “What did I do to deserve this?” “Why is everything so hard?” “Why is it never easy?” “What’s the point?” A closed...
Read More2. Day 9: Unbolting the Door
I am finding trouble accessing the feelings of fear I have for depression. Somehow just (!) being willing to meet and greet something that has caused me grief, confusion, anger, loneliness and silence is lessening all these feelings. I feel almost cheerful, hopeful even, in greeting and welcoming depression. This makes no sense. Me: How can I extend love to a fear if I am not feeling it in the moment? Am I healed already? HS: Dear One, Be glad in this moment you are not experiencing your fear. This does not prevent you from extending much tender awareness to the state of depression. ...
Read More2. Day 8: The Great Drawing Within
I had a great experience with depression the other day I keep meaning to write down. I got some very unexpected news, which kind of blindsided me. I noticed I felt a heavy dragging on my chest, it felt a betrayal of sorts. I felt pitiful, lonely, left out and annoyed all at the same time. I just let all of those feelings be ok. I didn’t try to change or fix it. I just extended the quality of love of noticing. After a little while I went out with friends and as happens when sadness or surprise hits, it is softened tremendously by spending time with those you love. Loving someone is a...
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