7. Day 15: I’ll Be Honest With You
I feel a withdrawing sadness/what’s the point energy today (maybe for a few days?). I would toss it off as tiredness, but it feels both deeper and more on the surface than usual. I can’t tell if it is overcommitment or being dishonest in making the commitments in the first place. Or is it that deeper churn of my own children entering new phases in their young adult lives that I can only watch and welcome whatever I am feeling within myself? Me: Please help me extend the tenderest love and awareness even as I ask for guidance. Thank you. I extend generosity to this thought....
Read More7. Day 14: When Extending Love Is Impossible
I am beginning to wish I had not listened to the Holy Spirit and chosen extending love to my fear of honesty. And I certainly wish I hadn’t told anybody. I am in a funk today for no apparent reason. I could call up a few reasons and try to make those stories the “why” of my funk but that feels less than honest (again I say damned honesty). I just woke up with a great sense of heaviness on my chest, a tightly-wound, imploding sort of energy. It feels like a personal version of a black hole. And nothing untoward has happened. I want to run from this energy but must...
Read More7. Day 13: Turning Fear Into Honey Spoons
It’s Monday. Speaking of pain….. why do we think pain in the only way to learn? Why the phrase “No pain/No gain”? Why did my grandmother say when brushing my hair and I winced, “You have to suffer to be beautiful!”? It is because we truly believe we must go through pain in order to feel, connect with and experience God. I do not believe this is something God requires. God can absolutely turn suffering into revelation and fear into honey spoons but do we really believe God desires us to suffer in order to be free? I have noticed how deeply rooted this...
Read More7. Day 12: And On The Seventh Day….
Sunday has long been considered a day of rest. In the Bible even God rested on the seventh day of creation. Why is it so difficult to allow rest? To feel worthy of complete rest. Or any rest? Why, if something is easier than we thought, do we find ways to either make it more difficult or explain away the ease? Have you noticed how ill at ease we are with, well, ease? In my month of extending love to fear AS tiredness I really noticed some of the ways I block the awareness of Love’s Presence is to busy/overwhelm/over do myself. I know I will have to return to Holy Spirit again...
Read More7. Day 11: Running From Pain?
Are you running from pain? Am I?? I can say that in this moment, right now, I am not running. Though, to be honest (and since honesty IS what I am practicing this month), running from pain was the most exersize I ever got before I started walking daily. I used to call it good manners, or staying positive, or feeling overwhelmed but running from is another way of saying denying/ignoring/ trying to change what is in front of me. Honesty is really shaking me up. Everything can do with an honesty make-over. How I eat/drink/ sleep/ speak/ give is under the gentle beam of honesty’s...
Read More