9. Day 27: 34 Years Of Living Joy

Posted by on Dec 27, 2014 in All-One, Fear of Living Joy | 8 comments

9. Day 27:  34 Years Of Living Joy

I never knew that one of my biggest “accomplishments” would be to have been married for a long time.  I had an inkling this would be so at 10 years when we celebrated our anniversary in Quetta, Pakistan with Army friends from around the world.  10 years of marriage is quite the milestone, especially in the military.  Then at 20 years we celebrated having only recently arrived in USA.  At 30 years new friends gasp at our longevity as partners and perfect strangers offer congratulations and ask “How’d you do it?”  It seems I have become an expert at something I never even knew I was practicing.

How do you stay married for 34 years anyway?  I think a little list is in order to mark the occasion and to answer that constant question people always ask when they find out my husband and I are celebrating another anniversary (today is number 34).

1.  Marry someone you really, really, really love and like and respect

2.  Be willing to give up living in your country if necessary

Joy multiplies!

Joy multiplies!

3.  Practice forgiveness and/or fun in all things

4.  A family history of long marriages is a plus

5.  Loving the same God helps

6.  Be partners in life (supporting one another in any way needed)

7.  Communicate, communicate, communicate (talking is only one form of communication)

8.  Enjoy spending time together and do so

9.  Nurture, feed and maintain relationship even after children join you (especially after children join you)

10.  When all else fails, let God lead the way through forgiveness back to peace

Marriage is not for the faint hearted for it takes willingness to be both vulnerable and wrong on occasions.  It is a brilliant practice for mindfulness, trust and the practice of extending love. It is a great way to ultimately get to know your own self and just how powerful Love really is. The abundance of gifts I have experienced in being married for 34 years to my husband is endless (adventure, shock, delight, amazement, tender care, hilarious fun, strength, friendship, joy, partnership, trust, faith, support, a powerful sense of self, two precious children, humor…….).  This epic trip in England we are nearing the end of has felt like a second honeymoon in many ways.  It is really lovely to discover, again, how deeply delighted and honored I am to be married still to the first man I ever fell in love with.  This post wouldn’t be complete with my husband’s favorite joke re our long marriage:  “34 years?  You get less than that for murder.”  Ha ha!  Happy Anniversary to us; here’s to another 34 years!



  1. Very sweet post. True and possible for others only if they love the Lord first. A happy marriage is one of the hardest things you will ever accomplish. But the most worthwhile thing you will ever accomplish. it supersedes anything else. Your tips are great. Thanks for yiur post

    • Darling Anita, thanks for reading and I guess that’s why “God IS Love” so we do, indeed, know how to love. xoxo

    • Thank you for your beautiful thoughts. Love you heaps, xoxo

  2. Just Beautiful

    • Thank you for taking time to read. xoxo

  3. Eva, your blog inspires and delights me. Thank you so much for speaking from your heart and life experience. You are constantly teaching me and opening my mind to thoughts I’ve not yet visited. I am already looking forward to whatever comes next from my beautiful friend that “dances” with words. It’s always a perfect ballet! With love, Leigh

    • Thanks for reading Leigh, it’s always a pleasure to hear from your heart! xoxo

    • I may have to steal that title; “”Dances With Words”. I’m so grateful to have you as a beloved reader. xoxo

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