12. Day 28: Twelve Fears Later…

Posted by on Mar 28, 2015 in All-One, Blogging As My Spiritual Practice, Fear of Feeling(s) | 2 comments

12. Day 28:  Twelve Fears Later…

It is time to talk about my thoughts and feelings of having blogged daily for a whole year (that’s 365 days!). Yes, I officially made my first blog post on March 25, 2014 (in the middle of a trip to my nephew’s wedding in Nashville).  Extending love to my epic fears is something I could have done privately without the added work of cataloguing my experience.  I could have just felt the difference but, then, would I have remembered the process?  What if I needed to do it again?  What if you wanted to follow along and do this for yourself?  What if we needed to get home and a bird had eaten the breadcrumb trail?  Well, then you’d be awfully glad I blogged about my experience wouldn’t you?  (I hope I can hear a resounding chorus of “Wouldn’t I!!!!”)

Extending love, on purpose, to my epic fears and thoughts has changed my experience of my own life.  I feel as if I am peace rather than just inhabiting a place of peace.  Writing about it has actually changed my life. Writing causes me to step out of the way of what I think I think in order for me to hear what my heart thinks and I am continually awed by what my heart has to say. Blogging about it has changed my experience of my writing and the value it holds for me.  The daily process of writing and then uploading a piece, choosing photographs and editing caused me to spend an inordinate amount of time with my own work.  It has given me such pleasure and a real sense of pride and satisfaction with my own work.

looking at my fears

What if I looked at my fears like I look at a piece of art?

The thing that got me started in the first place was a feeling of being betwixt and between.  I had finished my work with a wonderful organization, the Voice for Love, which is where I trained as a minister and how I learned to extend love to my thoughts in the first place.  I needed to do something to support my continuing practice of extending love and the other steps which allowed me to hear and feel and experience God’s Voice, the Holy Spirit, within me on a daily basis.  I already meditated, journaled and had quiet time each day but I was still aware of a lot of fear (and guilt) which would arise suddenly and blow a hole in my confidence and connection to the Holy Spirit the size of the emptiness left by the felled Twin Towers on that fateful day in September.

It may seem counterintuitive to ask the Holy Spirit what to do about being afraid I couldn’t continue to hear the Holy Spirit but that is what I did.  When the word “Twelvemonth” floated into view the rest of the sentence soon followed in my vision: A Twelvemonth of Self Love.  Honestly, I immediately envisioned a year of spa time and long walks in the woods with maybe a few guiltless shopping trips thrown in for fun but apparently the Holy Spirit wanted us to go deeper.  Hence my guidance to practice extending love to my fears, one at a time for a month for twelvemonths.  The truth is I do not want anything standing in the way of me feeling and experiencing the presence of Love no matter what is going on.

What are we going to wash now?

What are we going to wash now?

Now, here we are twelve fears later and I have not only survived but thrived in this online forum.  I have a nice handful of dedicated readers who have cheered, encouraged and supported me each step of the way and that is a grace I could have in no way imagined.  Perhaps it is just this very inspirational support that leads me to want to write more, influence other hearts and share my thoughts on Love, fear, God and how it all relates to living in the world in a wider way.

I will be sharing my next steps as soon as I know what they are.  Know this, I love this forum and though I may not continue daily because I am being called to write longer pieces, less suited for blogging and more suited for print I will continue blogging regularly.

2 Comments

  1. Avatar

    “Wouldn’t I!!!!”
    Blessings to you, my dear, as you continue to experience and express Love!

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