12. Day 25: A Crash Course In Feeling(s)
Feeling is another dimension. It is what is present underneath all that you are thinking, seeing, noticing. It is that animal of light that shines warmth on your belly and releases a thousand, thousand butterflies into your chest. This presence of “more” is a live currant running through every cell of your body, not just nerve endings in your fingertips and gut. Feeling can thrash you, uplift you, transport and transform your experience in less time than the spark of electric charge that the brains sends to say “blink” to your eye. Feeling lets you know wordlessly...
Read More12. Day 15: This Quiet Knows Me
I had a dear friend say to me the other day, “I am relentlessly happy. All the time now.” It was such a significant departure from the majority of her years dwelling (not living) in the pseudo safety of feeling nothing. It has been a long and revealing process, this unmasking of her true nature of happiness. For so long she didn’t, wouldn’t, couldn’t feel happiness. Couldn’t recognize or trust it. That is until she did; trust and recognize and claim the deep well of happiness that was always with her but that she had forgotten. Her laughter bubbles...
Read More12. Day 10: The Real Shabby Chic
Years ago in one of the earliest spoof films called “Flying High” (maybe called “Airplane” in the USA) there was a character that throughout the film would be in various states of becoming stressed and disheveled and say “I picked a bad week to give up drinking/smoking/glue sniffing”. It just get getting crazier each time he showed up. I feel a lot like that with this month of extending love to the fear of Feeling(s). I picked a bad month to extend love to feelings. This is also the month we are on a detox (ie sans wheat, dairy, sugar, alcohol). It is...
Read More12. Day 7: A Kitchen Miracle
I discovered something about myself the other day; accidentally, in the middle of a conversation with my daughter. She was bemoaning my frustrating habit of talking in non sequators, ie, one thing that does not obviously follow another. I wasn’t trying to confuse, but I was. She wasn’t trying to be confused, but she was. There we were, rinsing the lunch dishes to put in the dishwasher, and confusion had entered the room. Confusion that felt like a massive cow was pressing us up against the counter, taking up space and air and leaving only perplexed discomfort. This did not...
Read More11. Day 17: Why Is Working HARD Always A Success Principle?
I will let you in on a little secret. You simply can’t hang out with the idea of success, even if fear is present, without kind of wanting to experience some version of success. This may explain why I uncharacteristically set a timer for one hour and told myself “you can clean the drawers under the washer and drier for one hour; just go for it!” Because I am really noticing exactly what spurs me on to success or what holds me back this month I have become aware of something again and again. One of the things that holds me back is what I might call fearing it all might be...
Read More11. Day 12: Awareness By-The-Measure
I finally came across the best reason I have ever heard for measuring goals. I seem to be one of those people who equate measuring with judging. It might have stemmed from always being the last person picked for the team for athletic pursuits and the first person picked to lead an academic squad or entertainment committee. Measuring, in my mind, must inevitably lead to judging something better or worse, less or more, good or bad. So I have always resisted measuring of any kind. When the recipe calls for a half a cup of cheese I just scoop out “some” cheese and think...
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