month 1 | A Twelvemonth of Self Love

1. Day 30: Go As Far As You Can See

Eva Lisle — Wed, 30 Apr 2014 12:00:40 +0000

I continue to feel the overwhelm of too many things happening at once. I don’t feel I can be present for all of it. Please help Holy Spirit. HS: Precious One, Be still a moment and feel into your vast, immense, eternal peace. Feel into the perfectness of the unfolding of each event. See the inherent mystery in the evolvement. It is beautiful. See the colors and textures.

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1. Day 29: Being Here Now

Eva Lisle — Tue, 29 Apr 2014 05:00:43 +0000

I continue to feel the tidal pull between business, my spiritual practice of my commitment to extending love to my fears and wanting to be with family. The pull of the actions commitment seems to require is great. It is hard to sit still and meditate or BE in the face of commitment (even if it is a commitment to facing my fear and blogging about it). I must not really understand commitment or…

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1. Day 28: Worthy is the Lamb

Eva Lisle — Mon, 28 Apr 2014 05:00:04 +0000

Holy Spirit, yesterday felt like a car crash: the speed of business meets the intensity of desire for close family time. In this moment I am bloody annoyed; at commitment, at life, at myself. This thought just in from a brief sojourn in the bathroom (isn’t it always the way): I feel like something is being asked of me that I don’t want to do/give/be. What do I think is expected of me?

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1. Day 27: Extending Love All the way Home

Eva Lisle — Sun, 27 Apr 2014 05:00:14 +0000

What are the conditions I have been placing around myself with this Twelvemonth.me extending love to fears project? I’ve decided these conditions like “I can’t explain myself to the designer!” or “It’s too hard!!!” are like Lego bricks I’ve strewn across the floor. As I step on one barefoot and wince in pain and say “OUCH!! That really hurt!!” I am reminded to open my eyes and see truly where I…

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1. Day 26: The Unfolding of Joy

Eva Lisle — Sat, 26 Apr 2014 05:00:56 +0000

I am feeling slow-ish and tired (headache too) from last days of frenetic activity. I have so much to do before tomorrow……… “I Am Here Now” Quiet Blanket Tea Candle Clock-tick Heartbeat Breath Comfort Uninterrupted Peace I noticed in the whirl of yesterday that fear of commitment without the fear is just commitment. Me: Why have I feared commitment in work (especially)…

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1. Day 25: Love Is Vast Enough

Eva Lisle — Fri, 25 Apr 2014 05:00:52 +0000

I am feeling a little (actually A LOT) cornered by time. My week is full. Help! This thought, a benediction from my heart revives me: Love is vast enough to hold all my time, appointments, plans and schedule. This bears repeating. Every five minutes if needed: LOVE IS VAST ENOUGH (Love Is –inhale….Vast Enough–exhale x repeat as needed) Me: What do I need right now?

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1. Day 24: Rocking the Vastness

Eva Lisle — Thu, 24 Apr 2014 05:00:08 +0000

Today I am feeling the waffling of downsizing my commitment of a daily post: It is not needed. It will inundate my brother. I’m painting myself into a corner. Is this really fun? Why? HS: Why not? Me: Why not???? Exactly!! Why the heck NOT?! It won’t hurt, I write everyday anyway. An ambitious goal gets my juices flowing. I want to blow myself away in amazement.

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1. Day 23: Itching Relieves Tension

Eva Lisle — Wed, 23 Apr 2014 05:00:35 +0000

Today commitment is like the annoying itch I have at the moment. To be honest, I want more to know about the itching that I want to know about commitment. Me: What is this itching about? It comes replete with both full-on annoyance and delicious satisfaction. It keeps coming back, is this some form of self-medication? Please help me see here, thank you. HS: Your body continues to call…

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1. Day 22: Fame Is a Flashlight

Eva Lisle — Tue, 22 Apr 2014 05:00:39 +0000

Weirdly I have discovered underneath my fear of commitment lies what I call a feeder-fear; this is a fear of fame. I know it sounds ridiculous because what are the odds of “fame” occurring because of what I write on a blog? Especially since I have yet to put any hustle into sharing the blog (I am leaving that totally up to my Holy Spirit btw). Fame is one way of putting being known for who and…

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1. Day 21: Commitment, a Difference of Opinion

Eva Lisle — Mon, 21 Apr 2014 05:00:38 +0000

I spoke yesterday of the onslaught of experiences being sustained by my nearest and dearest. This gives me a perfect opportunity to extend love to my fear of commitment. Here is where commitment, in my opinion, goes awry. I am fully committed to my beloved partner of 30 plus years. I also am beginning to be fully committed to my own heart. So what happens when we see things differently and…

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