month 10 – A Twelvemonth of Self Love

10. Day 31: A Beautiful Fear

Eva Lisle — Sat, 31 Jan 2015 14:53:00 +0000

The biggest shift I have had in this month of extending love to the fear of fear itself is finding that I m no longer afraid of fear. This does not mean that I don’t ever feel a feeling of fear (or annoyance, doubt or guilt) but that I can recognize the feel, taste and texture so much more quickly and can acknowledge it for what it is. Namely, a call to pause, ASK for guidance, help...

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10. Day 30: Like Butter In A Dish

Eva Lisle — Fri, 30 Jan 2015 13:07:39 +0000

Judgment is fear. Fear is judgment. Judgment says “This cannot be as is.” Fear says “This should not be as is.” Judgement and fear are saying the same thing: NO. No to what is, no to what was, no to what should or shouldn’t be. No to how I am feeling, No to how you are feeling. No, no, no, No, NO, NOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooo. It is the energy signature of stop, off, close, hide, flee. What if, instead...

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10. Day 29: First I Judge

Eva Lisle — Thu, 29 Jan 2015 13:22:11 +0000

My desire to judge a situation as hurtful-therefore-I-must-fix-this was revealed yesterday. I am seeing today, that the first thing that happens is that I judge a thing as hurtful to someone. I could just stop at “first I judge”, the “what I judge” is much like the “of” as in what am I afraid “of”. It is the fear itself all over again. Judgement is fear. Full stop. I could make a case for “because...

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10. Day 28: “I Could Fix This”

Eva Lisle — Wed, 28 Jan 2015 13:14:41 +0000

Recently three separate people from completely different backgrounds have shared some version of a story of a rift in their organization, family or political party. I sense both the feelings of powerlessness and of stubborn refusal to budge from a particular perspective. This feeling of divided-ness, rift or outright civil war is something we can all relate to in some way. Just fill in the blank...

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10. Day 27: The Feeling Formerly Known As Fear

Eva Lisle — Tue, 27 Jan 2015 13:15:09 +0000

This month with extending love to the fear of fear itself has been really interesting. Firstly, this was January, beginning of a new year and we had just come home from an epic, incredible 7 week trip. I have been in such a different place. It was as if our trip had sort of washed away the need for the “fear of______” story and allowed me to extend loving awareness into the face of fear.

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10. Day 26: Monday, Thy Name Is Ugh

Eva Lisle — Mon, 26 Jan 2015 15:03:01 +0000

Here is the truth-ish…..I don’t want to be in this moment. Or rather I don’t think I want to be in this moment. It is Monday. The weekend was full, delightful and I need another day of rest. How does Monday roll around so regularly? There is nothing onerous I have to do today, the usual maintenance to business, home and life yet I feel a weary resistance to being right here, right now.

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10. Day 25: Sacrifice, A Primer

Eva Lisle — Sun, 25 Jan 2015 14:40:12 +0000

A few days ago, I woke with a start from a dream of being with a dear friend in her car. We were driving along just fine and then I asked a question that so flustered my friend she lost control of the car. When I woke my heart was pounding and I was breathless just as if I had been in this terrifying moment. I could feel death’s longing before it went; that clinging to life, all the while knowing...

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10. Day 24: Go As Far As You Can See….

Eva Lisle — Sat, 24 Jan 2015 15:07:54 +0000

Fear is akin to a creeping darkness that dulls your vision slowly until you can’t go another step forward in the dark. It is the dark that calls for light. We want light so we can see. But what about seeing in the dark? For this there was the saying my Mother used to have that she would repeat on appropriate occasions. Usually those occasions were ones that faith, trust and willingness-to-wait...

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10. Day 23: Someone Radically Blessed

Eva Lisle — Fri, 23 Jan 2015 14:55:09 +0000

I have always felt blessed throughout my life. Even in the desert times, the uncertain times or the plainly ridiculous God-you’ve-got-to-be-kidding-? times. I am not unfamiliar with both blessing and feeling blessed. Yesterday, though, I read my current favorite book, “A Year Without Fear” and came across a wonderful new edge to my view of blessing. The quote was a reminder that our own...

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10. Day 22: She Went Home Four Years Ago Today

Eva Lisle — Thu, 22 Jan 2015 13:05:07 +0000

“My Mother, My Self” Some times the grieving goes on for years before the last goodbye. The daily loss of life and living one less capability and memory little sense or truth yet love continued to shine in, through, beyond. Hugging my Mama & Daddy! I was almost too tired, worn and depleted to see it. But then gratitude would wash over me and clean me inside and out and I would give thanks for one...

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