depression’s 21 fears – A Twelvemonth of Self Love

2. Day 30: The Jig Is Up

Eva Lisle — Fri, 30 May 2014 12:04:19 +0000

Depression has a very low opinion of everything and everyone. I know. The jig is up. This is a totally untrue statement. You knew from the very first moment you read it in the “ 21 Fear Salute” didn’t you? You were afraid to even allow this thought to exist so you closed yourself off from it; clamping down and closing your eyes. The thing is, this is how you forget your precious self.

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2. Day 29: Precious One

Eva Lisle — Thu, 29 May 2014 12:07:53 +0000

The thing I love most about depression is this certainty of not being incredibly precious, valuable and vital to both the world’s collective happiness and to your own. I get it, it feels like nothing is worth it, that you are not worth it but have you ever asked yourself: Is this true? Go on. Ask. I dare you. Take a deep breath and relax. Close your eyes and sink into the quiet. What do you feel?

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2. Day 28: Action Is Essentional to Living

Eva Lisle — Wed, 28 May 2014 12:02:02 +0000

Safety is the key to moving forward. Moving is also key to moving forward. How can you feel safe when you don’t? How can you move forward if you don’t feel safe? How can you trust the desires of your heart when you don’t really trust your self? I just read an article in a recent Town & Country touting the benefits of a personal nutritionist (soon to be followed by a personal farmer).

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2. Day 26: No One Understands Me

Eva Lisle — Mon, 26 May 2014 12:09:14 +0000

Yesterday we practiced expanding the size of our seeing to notice when Wrong IS. Today let’s look at when we feel that wrongness in the way we are not being understood by others. Depression’s 21 fears must work very hard at covering over our awareness of Love’s Presence which is why it feels so exhausting. The fear of not being understood (and there’s no point of explaining myself) can be very...

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2. Day 25: Fear Of Being Wrong

Eva Lisle — Sun, 25 May 2014 12:06:31 +0000

Let’s just get this one right out in the open for all to see. We are all afraid of being wrong. Because right is, well, RIGHT. Wrong is NOT being right. Wrong is confirmation of being wrong; missing the mark; not being good enough (or fast enough or clever enough). Wrong is the opposite of getting what you thought you wanted. Wrong is losing, forgetting, being late. Wrong is your Mother winning...

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2. Day 24: Being With Being Alone

Eva Lisle — Sat, 24 May 2014 12:06:25 +0000

It is a perfect day yet I am weary of depression; of thinking about it and extending love to it. It feels as if I have gotten to take on the mantle of depression for the month, like a character, and write and ask from this space. I am now itching to throw off that cloak of stillness and run barefoot through the grass. I want juicy, vibrant and alive! We now look at the fear of being left behind...

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2. Day 23: Change Is

Eva Lisle — Fri, 23 May 2014 12:40:48 +0000

Does everybody have cancer? You either have it yourself or someone close to you has it. I have a loved one battling today that invisible fear we call cancer. I noticed on Facebook and overheard grocery store and business conversations that so many are fighting this battle, this fear, this irrevocable change. Change in health, in prognosis for the future, in daily life. If we are all connected then...

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2. Day 22: Vulnerability & Truth

Eva Lisle — Thu, 22 May 2014 12:30:03 +0000

I am beginning to realize that all these fears in the “ 21 Fear Salute” of depression are all kind of the same. The fear of truth. We are so afraid that Love is not the truth about us that even though we long for, hope, cross our fingers we still do not feel sure. The next fear which is the fear of being exposed uncovers a broader truth. We actually are afraid LOVE is the truth about us. 13.

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2. Day 20: WTF HS?

Eva Lisle — Tue, 20 May 2014 12:30:59 +0000

We are in the middle of a catastrophic health crisis of the most hopeless kind. One of my dear ones, a child really, just starting out in the world is on the other side of a diagnosis that changed everything in an instant. This one graduated from college just days ago. This is the kind of thing that sends me reaching to the back of my mind’s cupboard for a drink of “What’s the point of living any...

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2. Day 19: Nothing But Everything

Eva Lisle — Mon, 19 May 2014 12:30:40 +0000

Behind my fear of the voice of NOT-enough lies the even deeper terror of the abyss of NOTHING. What if there is nothing in my heart–no feeling, no guidance, no inner teacher, no creative impulse, no heart beat? What then? This is the fear to end all fears. “Listen to your heart” is nothing new. We see this used on YouTube videos and Facebook memes and hear this preached from every pulpit of every...

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