Fear of Guilt – A Twelvemonth of Self Love

3. Day 30: Veil Sale

Eva Lisle — Mon, 30 Jun 2014 12:06:33 +0000

Today is the last day of extending love to guilt for this month three of my Twelvemonth of Self Love project. What is exceedingly obvious now is that guilt is not the truth about me. It is but a story of “not-me” I believe for a while until I return to my right mind, or sanity or the awareness of God-is-Love’s Presence. I have learned I can drop the veil of guilt at any time and experience the...

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3. Day 28: Verzeiung (Forgiveness) & Communion

Eva Lisle — Sat, 28 Jun 2014 12:05:33 +0000

The amazing book “The Book Thief” (by Markus Zusak) came to me during this month of extending love to guilt. Surely this is no accident and indeed a novel of the tenacity of loving in all conditions, especially with the incarcerating power of guilt. The story is narrated by Death and told through the eyes of a young girl in Nazi Germany. It is powerful in every way. I must share these definitions...

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3. Day 27: Guilt, The Greatest Call For Love

Eva Lisle — Fri, 27 Jun 2014 12:01:37 +0000

Me: Holy Spirit, what IS the purpose of guilt? HS: Precious One, The purpose of guilt is threefold: to close your eyes to grace to dampen your spirit to forget the truth Guilt uses all thinking to accomplish this; everything you have ever thought, done, not thought or not done. Guilt is the great God covering, making it appear you are separate from God. You don’t question it because you can see...

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3. Day 26: Love Meets Guilt Where It Is

Eva Lisle — Thu, 26 Jun 2014 12:02:17 +0000

My walk with extending love to guilt this month (in my Twelvemonth project) continues with spending each morning with Holy Spirit; sometimes asking difficult questions, other times just listening. Today, I feel like I am not making any inroads into understanding or lessening guilt. I am not as afraid of the guilt yet I still feel it easily and completely. Me: How can I ween myself from reliance on...

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3. Day 25: Gratitude Is Good For What Ails You

Eva Lisle — Wed, 25 Jun 2014 12:18:23 +0000

I am feeling low, like I want to stay in bed for a week. The last few weeks have been incredibly hectic with nearly every moment scheduled. Time to extend love. I extend absolution to this thought. Interestingly I feel guilty both for wanting to stay in bed AND for the week being so full. (why do I always do that?). I also feel guilty for the thought of canceling everything (or anything really).

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3. Day 24: No Room At The Gym

Eva Lisle — Tue, 24 Jun 2014 12:01:51 +0000

I am beginning to realize that guilt feels bad because it is a contraction rather than an expansion. It is the contraction or constricting that feels bad, not the fact that guilt is the truth about me (which it isn’t). I had a wonderful guilt opportunity the other day when having tea with a friend. We were at Bella Bru, me sipping green tea, my friend sipping Diet Coke when our conversation got...

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3. Day 22: Ask Or Be-little?

Eva Lisle — Sun, 22 Jun 2014 12:08:55 +0000

I notice that still, in certain circumstances, I make myself less-than or highlight my fear qualities (including, perhaps especially with, guilt) in order to make another feel equal or safe. ( Or am I making myself feel safe and equal???) Is this necessary? Is it meeting someone where they are or am I kidding myself? How do I remain true to Love’s Vastness and to my own local self and brother too?

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3. Day 21: Are You Love-able?

Eva Lisle — Sat, 21 Jun 2014 12:07:51 +0000

I am beginning to realize I am afraid to let my fears go. What is being revealed is that I see my fears almost as friends (known, protective and comforting). The question is do I really want to let my fears, including guilt, go? I honestly don’t know. I would like to experience a time of utter fearlessness to see. I hate to admit that imagining this is nye impossible, even after so much practice...

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3. Day 19: M & M’s and Sunglasses!

Eva Lisle — Thu, 19 Jun 2014 12:03:54 +0000

We have had the most wonderful time in the last days and weeks celebrating our daughter’s graduation from university. Family and friends gathered in so many ways from so many places. We ate, drank and made merry in all the usual ways. I bought so many groceries that I was given honorary staff status at our local Bel Air and Whole Foods; candles were lit, pina colada’s mixed, laundry run...

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3. Day 18: Over-thinking Guilt Pays Off

Eva Lisle — Wed, 18 Jun 2014 12:05:04 +0000

Why DO I choose guilt? Seriously. WHY? Guilt is the only way I know of that covers an inequitable situation: 1. the thing I want and need for me & 2. the thing I should want and need for me. It is what I use to cover the seeming disparity between following my own heart and yet seeing myself or a loved one need or expect something different. I guess I feel like I should pay a penalty of sorts for...

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