8. Day 1: Not-Knowing Feels Vulnerable

Posted by on Nov 1, 2014 in All-One, Fear of Not-Knowing | 4 comments

8. Day 1:  Not-Knowing Feels Vulnerable

After an epic month of honesty it is time for quiet of a different flavor.  Now it is time to open up to a new month’s focus of extending love.  What is coming to me is extending love to not-knowing.  There are so many things (to infinity really) I don’t know.  I strive, struggle, hope for, wheedle, beg, demand, need …….TO KNOW.  I have always wanted to know ‘why’ and ‘how’ and ‘who’; I want to know what’s next, what’s for dinner and why does my toe itch?  I am constantly in a state of negotiation with Knowing trying to get just “one more piece of information”. Sadly, it is just never enough.

What if I did something else?

What if I intentionally opened up and welcomed and delighted in not-knowing?

What if I trusted, was comforted by, reveled in and was fully aware of not-knowing?

Here are a few things I think it would be nice to know:

My daughter’s wedding date (when/where and how we will pay our part?)

My other daughter’s school plans (is she actually studying hard or/and is this term in UK just one big pub crawl?)

What is my actual need for cash on our trip to UK?

What are e having for supper?

And what about this ISIS business and ebola too? (these both seem kind of big threatening deals)

Will the blister on my heel heal before I step onto the plane?

Not-knowing feels vulnerable.

Not-knowing feels vulnerable.

There is something in me (some call it ego) that is NOT OK with not-knowing.  This is the part of me that wants to plan, that demands foreknowledge, prognostications and maps.  I have a feeling extending love to the fear of not-knowing will stir this part of me into a muddle.

And yet, we love mystery?  What the heck??!  How can we fear, wheedle and loathe not-knowing and still love a good mystery?  The truth is, the mystery is what adds dimension, color, life and sparkle.  Or is it our LOVE of the mystery that does this???  If I would LOVE not-knowing in my life and world as much as I do enjoy a good mystery would I add another dimension of color, life and sparkle to my every day?

For now, I will pause, take a deep breath and extend love to my fear not-knowing.

I extend innocence to this thought.

I extend power to this thought.

I extend willingness to this thought.

I dare say, extending innocence, power and willingness to anything will irrevocably alter the balance in favor of peace and joy.  Shall we dive into not-knowing together?  What is it you don’t know (that perhaps you’d like to) right now?  Let it be for the moment completely not-known and utterly fine that this is the case.  Just for the moment…….breathe………………………………

 

 

 

4 Comments

  1. I tend to want to know just the part that affects me. I’m not so curious about the world at large. I think there’s a subtle “should” pulling and pushing me in two different directions.
    1 – I SHOULD NOT leave the NOW – don’t plan, don’t worry, just be present and trust the unfolding of life.
    2 – I SHOULD be more curious and alive in the world – caring more about others and the bigger picture of global issues.
    Then there’s always the trusty – I SHOULD just love myself as I am. LOL

  2. Not knowing is the opportunity to follow your Guide. Holy Spirit help my not knowing by leading me where you want me to be!

    • Eva Lisle

      Oh that is perfect! Not-knowing IS always the opportunity to follow my guidance. xoxo

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