4. Day 26: The Monotony Of Doubt

Posted by on Jul 26, 2014 in All-One, Fear of Letting Go | 12 comments

4. Day 26:  The Monotony Of Doubt

It always amazes me how I can doubt (or fear or be annoyed) after feeling the face of God in my very hands. Yesterday I felt I could just about walk on water and today I wonder who in the heck is sitting here in my place.  The list of worries and doubts in my journal are laughable (from being a bad cousin to ‘WHY doesn’t the dog stop licking?’ to “Is my blog worthwhile?”).  The whole thing makes my head hurt and extending love is the only (!) thing I can do.  Why do I continue to fear letting go of doubt?

I extend peace to these thoughts.

I ask Holy Spirit for “Help please!!” and after a few minutes my thoughts begin relax and I can breathe.

HS:  Be still a moment and know you are already home.  Nothing is being asked of you my dear, simply rest in the midst of your thought train.  Fear not its destination, all is well.

Breathe and breathe again.

Be in this moment with me.

I am here with you, Beloved One.

Gaining a new perspective is a birthing work.

The truth remains the same.  You are my treasure too.

I love you.

Me:  Thank you and can we just sit here together awhile so I can feel the power of your Presence?

 

Take a moment to sit quietly and breathe.  Let yourself be still and breathe.  Imagine the vastness of Love holding you in its’ arms and rocking you gently.   You are safe.  You are here. You are loved.

** Today I let go into trusting my daughter to book an international flight and to get it all organized without my help, aka interference. (she did a great job btw;).

12 Comments

  1. Eva,
    Good job on letting go. It is hard to remember they are capable. My daughter is now 30 and the hardest thing I had to do was to let go of how to tell her to do things. Now I listen to her without the burden of solving it for her and enjoy the time spent chatting. In some ways she is her mother’s daughter and is very capable. Sometimes she does want advice or an analysis so she asks. That is our new deal about 5 years ago. I will only tell you what I think if that is why you are sharing the information. Otherwise, just color commentary on “that must be hard” or “good job”.

    • Eva Lisle

      Ooo, I love the phrase “offer color commentary”! It is rather a relief (to us all I am sure;) to get to be at that stage of “just” enjoying our precious children without feeling the need to direct.

      • I struggle less than I did, but every once in a while I catch myself offering advice before being asked. The difference is now she is fully accepting (most times) of the feedback bc SHE is ready to hear it.

        • Eva Lisle

          Yeah, that whole asking thing is where e declare our willingness to listen. Guess that is why we have to “ask” for what we are already guaranteed, love/peace/eternal life etc. 🙂

        • Eva Lisle

          Yeah, that whole asking thing is where we declare our willingness to listen. Guess that is why we have to “ask” for what we are already guaranteed, love/peace/eternal life etc. 🙂

  2. In my humble opinion it is the “job” of the ego to keep the story of our “identity” going. The easiest way to do that is to constantly offer doubts, fears, guilt, and new story lines to the current story. Hence the waterfall of ego/separation thoughts.
    Until we are willing to completely let go of the story of who we think we are, the cascade of impersonal thoughts will float down the river of our mind. Whether we pick up any or all of those floating thoughts…well that’s a choice we make in each moment.
    I’m not ready to stop being Jill, but I have made great progress in how I relate to those thoughts.
    Dearest Eva, You are doing a great job of sharing that process with “many people” (LOL) within the One Mind, for the release of suffering and the acceptance of Juicy Love, Peace, Compassion, Forgiveness, and the many qualities of the Divine Mind that we are swimming in!
    Blessings!!

    • Eva Lisle

      Thank you Jill. This Christmind we share is way more juicy without the stories I keep telling myself, lol! I am glad you are hanging onto “Jill” for awhile because it is one of my favorite flavors of Love! xo

    • Jill – this just reinforces one of the things I read in Dan Harris’ book about letting the mind see the thought floating past.
      Letting go of expectations – whether real or perceived – is a great challenge. I have found when I do that the result is much better than I could have even imagined. Wish my stoopid brain would remember that 😉
      Thanks for sharing!

      • Remembering and forgetting is ‘the game of life with ego’. I remember and forget plenty, but the more I do it (and teach it) the more often I choose to remember it. The combination of intention and practice will trump the ego-inspired suffering.

        • Eva Lisle

          Remembering and forgetting…..like breathing out and breathing in……

  3. Yes your blog is worthwhile. There have many a day when I have gained a new understanding (one that was very much needed.) Thank you! Vicki

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